


Not Half Bad

by stenbros



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Garrett POV, M/M, becky loved it so its canon now, garrett is pansexual and you can fight me on that, i dont think there's any angst, its just meant to be cute, this is a garrett/simon friendship fic, this is also a sort of garrett recognizing his sexuality fic, this was for the shores zine, which was a ton of fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:45:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stenbros/pseuds/stenbros
Summary: Now that all his friends are all coupled off, Garrett has grown tired of third wheeling. But when he finally takes Bram’s advice and actually tries to get along with everyone, he comes to acknowledge feelings he never thought he’d ever have.





	Not Half Bad

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fandoms_are_my_lifestyle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandoms_are_my_lifestyle/gifts).



Bram and I sit side by side in my bedroom. It’s our standard Friday night setup, unless Bram starts ditching his best friend for double dates with Nick and Abby.

Have I ever mentioned it sucks being the only friend without a significant other?

If you just looked at my texts- Bram sends the gayest damn stuff when he’s stayed up too late, and Nick can never stop talking about Abby these days.

It’s not that I’m jealous…

It’s just that I’m totally jealous.

I mean, let’s be real. When is it not tough to take a back seat to your best friends?

At least Leah still exists. I’ve legit considered approaching her and suggesting a lonely hearts club. Or maybe we could get into like, some D&D group or something.

“Garrett. Bro, where is your game tonight?” Bram asks, as he kills video-game-me for about the two hundredth time. It’s not eleven o’clock yet, and Bram’s speech is already beginning to slur, because he’s already a bit drunk. Maybe I am too.

“I don’t know,” I say. “I guess I just haven’t spent enough time playing shooters with my best friend to keep my skills up to par.” I don’t mean to sound bitter, but let’s face it. I’m kinda bitter.

Bram pauses the game and sets his controller on the floor. He stifles a yawn, picks up his drink, and takes a long sip before turning to face me. “This is about Simon,” he says, like he’s been expecting this talk, and I don’t know if I’m relieved or embarrassed.

“He’s all you ever talk about these days,” I say. And part of me knows how I’d respond, if the tables were turned. Examples: ‘he’s my first boyfriend.’ and ‘why can’t you just be happy for me?’.

Bram chews on his lip for a moment. “Do you even know him?” he asks.

“Do you?” I retort.

Bram raises his eyebrows. “Wow,” he says slowly.

I look away from him and stare down at my controller. I’m a douche. Everyone thinks it. Semi-douche Garrett. And awful friend. Maybe spiked drinks weren’t my best move tonight. I’m worse drunk, but I guess the drinks only aid to the douchiness. It’s still my fault for not keeping my mouth shut.

“Maybe ya’ll should try hanging out sometime,” Bram suggests. A second later he laughs. “Not like that, dude. Like, we should do stuff together. Have you ever even spoken to him?”

“I told him you forced me to that play three times,” I say, less defensively and more so that he gets the hint that I’ve been sorta majorly third wheel recently. But to be honest, it’s like the only time I can remember saying anything to him. I should stick at playing wingman. I can do wingman. Not that I think Bram needs any help, because Simon is kinda head over heels for him.

Bram slings his arm around my shoulder. He’s always more open when he’s drunk. Maybe a little less filtered too. “Remember that creeksecrets post?” he asks.

I furrow my eyebrows together. “The Simon one?” I’m a big percent sure that’s not what he’s talking about. And I’m not really thinking straight. I take a sip of his drink, and it tastes so bad, I make a face. It takes me a moment to remember I actually like drinking.

“The other one,” Bram corrects me. “The one you said was different. Like genuine.”

I try to think back to it. I get a vague idea of what he’s talking about. Water. There was something about water. And ships or something. Sailing? OTP much? “Th-the gay one.”

Bram rolls his eyes, but literally no one on creeksecrets has ever talked about being gay, so it’s not like elaboration is needed. “It was me. Simon commented on it. We’ve been talking all year.”

“You sly dog,” I tell him. “Did you know?”

Bram shakes his head. “I guessed. I was right.”

“You’re always right,” I say. It’s true, which drives me crazy sometimes, but mostly it’s an asset. Especially when I can’t figure out my homework. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Bram looks confused for a second and lays his head against my shoulder. “I don’t remember,” he admits. “But I know him. And he’s really kinda great.”

I’m silent. He is too, for a moment.

“Maybe I’ve been prioritizing us too much,” Bram says. “Crush since ninth freaking grade, bro. That type of luck doesn’t happen every day.”

“Because him falling for you was solely luck,” I tease.

“Wa-Ho,” Bram suggests. “Tomorrow. It’ll be fun. The three of us.”

“Fun,” I repeat. I don’t hide the sarcasm.

-

I don’t know why I agreed to this.

I’m sitting here, drinking my coffee black. You have to understand that I’m totally a cream and sugar and I’ll-just-have-a-coffee-flavored-milkshake type of guy. So yeah. You could say I’m a little hungover.

How Bram is sitting here wide awake and distinctly not dead is beyond me. He’s craning his neck and looking at the door. “Simon!”

I groan and lay my head down on the table. “Do you have to be so loud?” I whine. I hear Simon sit down across from me and Bram. I glance up briefly. “Hey, dude.”

Simon raises his eyebrows. “You look bad, bro,” he says.

“I don’t do Saturday mornings, Spier,” I say.

“It’s afternoon,” Simon deadpans.

Bram pulls a plastic bottle from his jacket pocket and sets it in front of me. I glare at the bottle distrustingly, and Bram rolls his eyes. “It’s Ibuprofen. And you should probably eat something,” he says.

I grudgingly sit up and do what he says, because he hasn’t steered me wrong yet, and I should probably just listen to him. We eat in semi-awkward silence.

It gets a little better when I let Simon eat my hash browns, because he perks up happily like I’m his best friend or something. So maybe he _is_ kinda cute.

“So,” Simon starts hesitantly. He seems awkwardly perched on the edge of his chair.

“Did you guys have a rough night or something?”

“Not compared to the ones you two’ll have together,” I state.

Simon cuts his gaze to Bram, and Bram’s cheeks turn red. They’re kinda cute.

“Garrett spiked our drinks last night,” Bram informs Simon.

And it’s a holy awkward mess. Apparently Simon didn’t know Bram would drink. He doesn’t really, only a passable amount when I do. Simon’s eyes get kinda wide, and he looks between Bram and me. Which, I’ll give him credit, he seems to put that information together.

“Yeah, and Bram determined I don’t know you,” I say. Because I should try, and there’s worse things in the world than befriending Simon Spier. “Which is true, I guess.”

Simon cracks a smile and looks between me and Bram. “So we get to hangout more?”

“I guess so.”

-

A week later, the three of us meet up at the mall. Except it’s only me and Simon because Bram’s late. (Unless he’s ditching?)

“So…” I look at Simon. He scratches the back of his neck and keeps going between looking around us for Bram and staring at his shoes. “Should we like- do something?”

“Sure,” Simon says hurriedly. He looks sorta relieved, until he realizes that doing something requires actually _doing something_ without Bram. Neither of us really know how to get along without Bram as our common point of interest.

We start walking, mainly to pass time.

“So are you like, a gamer or anything?” I ask eventually, when I can’t stand the silence anymore.

“Nah,” Simon says. “Not really my thing. I played the lego Harry Potter game, though.”

“That’s…” I hesitate. “Yeah, no, that doesn’t count.”

We end up going to some random places- GameStop for me, record store for him. Apparently he’s infamous for a bad music taste, but he picks up some cool stuff. We do all this, and it’s still radio silence from Bram. I’m pretty sure Simon texts Bram every time I’m not paying attention, because I’ve been doing the same thing.

While we’re sitting eating pretzels (he’s dipping his salted one in icing, which, _gross_ ), I end up studying him, to figure out why Bram likes him so much; then Simon looks up and meets my gaze. He smirks, and there’s no reason on earth for me to blush, but I do.

“Thinking about stealing your best friend’s boyfriend?” he asks. I think he’s joking.

Keyword _think._

“No,” I say. He snorts. “I- Just hard to believe Bram has a crush on you.” Which is a lie, because I may be starting to understand.

Simon raises his eyebrows. “Really?” he muses. “Am I too bland or something?”

Crap. He thinks I hate him again.

“No.” I feel like I’m just gonna keep repeating that same word forever. No, I don’t like you. No, you’re not bland, but no, I don’t think you’re cute. No, I’m not jealous you stole my best friend… “You’re just- sloppy?”

Simon laughs. The anxiety swelling in my chest dissipates. “Sloppy?” he repeats. He’s grinning, and gosh, wow, he _is_ sort of cute.

If I were gay. I think I get it. Bram liking him, I mean.

“Like- you don’t have a look. I mean, unless tired college student counts,” I tell him. He laughs again, and I’m lost in thought for a moment. “You should like. Get a piercing.”

Simon laughs- which takes my score up to three. I don’t know why I dwell on that.

“Nose or ear?” he inquires.

“Both,” I say without hesitation.

-

I don’t know when we start thinking about it seriously, but we end up in Simon’s truck, driving across town to a piercing salon, one that Nora’s texted Simon about. She demands pics when he’s done.

Simon drives but glances at me out of the corner of his eye every so often. He grins every time he catches my eye, which is quite a few more times than I’d like to admit. I can see why Bram’s always staring at him, and that makes me blush.

I’m relieved when we arrive at our destination, which looks about as punk as Nora at her least punkiest and still way cooler than mine and Simon’s coolest. So maybe I’m not so relieved about it after all. I haven’t a clue how getting piercings work, so Simon gets his first, and I’m left to sit alone with my thoughts.

The piercing hurts more than expected, because I didn’t really think about piercings hurting, but they’re literal holes in your skin so I’m not sure why I thought otherwise. I opt out of a nose piercing, and I don’t care if Simon teases me.

After we’ve both gotten our piercings, Simon says I look sorta badass, which is a whole lot more than I feel, because my ears hurt and I was so not prepared for this. Simon, I must say, looks really good, which I’m accounting to the gauge-esque studs he chose and not the gayest thoughts I’ve had in my life.

Also? The nose piercing? Yeah, I think Bram’s gonna die. _I’m dying,_ and I’m not even dating him.

“You look good,” I say as we head outside, and Simon beams at me.

“I sort of thought so,” Simon agrees. “Think Bram’ll like it?”

“He might find it sort of attractive,” I concede, with more blush and less dignity than I’d like.

“Do _you_?” Simon asks, teasingly, and when my eyes widen a little, he laughs. Fourth time- and I’m way more pleased than normal for a straight guy.

It’s then that we notice we’ve given up on Bram joining us, because we’ve long since abandoned our original mall plans. I’m thankful, because I don’t care to imagine the smirks I’d receive if Bram noticed how caught up I’m getting on his boyfriend’s laugh. Which is a totally un-straight thing for me to do, and I was pretty sure I was straight a week ago.

“I’m beginning to think maybe you rather planned for Bram not to show up at all,” Simon teases.

I blush and opt not to answer, and the silence that falls between us is more than a little awkward. But then, Simon laughs and bumps into me in what I think’s a bro sort of way and not a gay way. “Crush much?”

“Unofficially speaking,” I say, because I’ve no idea how I’m supposed to respond to that. Which makes him laugh. Which makes six now.

And maybe I should consider not keeping track.

-

It’s a Friday night.

The three of us- Simon, Bram, and I- are sitting on my bedroom floor. It’s something we do now.

Simon slings his arms around both mine and Bram’s shoulders, and he’s totally drunk- and cute. He keeps reaching up and messing with my lip piercing, which I got last week. It’s a little bit of a loss that Simon hasn’t gotten his yet. Because he’d just look so hot.

“I’m so glad we do this,” Simon slurs. Then he laughs. He keeps on laughing. I’ve almost lost count.

Bram rolls his eyes. He’s made a point of not getting drunk tonight, because Simon already is and I’m at least halfway to it.

I bump into Simon, who in turn bumps and leans into Bram. “You mean getting drunk?” I tease. “Gonna regret it tomorrow.”

Simon laughs, and he hiccups a little. “The three of us,” he elaborates. He spreads his fingers through Bram’s hair, and Bram gives me a why-did-you-let-my-boyfriend-get-so-drunk look.

I only smile in return.

Simon turns his head to look at me. He taps the piercing on his nose. “It can be our thing,” he tells me, and then he tilts his head to look up at Bram. “You should get one.”

“I don’t need a piercing,” Bram tells Simon. “I already have a cute boyfriend with several.”

“Garrett should get one.” Simon looks at me.

I don’t know what he’s talking about, and I’m not sure if that’s because he’s not making sense or because I’m drunk. Maybe it’s both.

“A piercing? I have one,” I say, except I barely finish before he starts to shake his head.

“A boyfriend,” Simon corrects me. My heart lurches when he smiles sweetly at me.

“A boyfriend?” I inquire.

And Simon nods, solemnly. “A me. Except not me. Because I’m Bram’s me.”

Simon laughs. And my heart flips a little. And Bram gives me this sort of smirk.

“A not-me me,” Simon says proudly, like it’s this ingenious thing to come up with.

When he laughs again, it occurs to me that I’ve finally stopped counting his laughs and started counting the spaces between them.

I give Bram a sheepish smile, one that Simon doesn’t pick up on. Then Bram rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning.

“Gay,” he says.

I look at Simon and feel myself blush. “Maybe.”

Turns out, Simon’s not that bad at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago for the Shores Fanzine, and I'm thrilled I can finally post it. They might be opening pdf versions of the zine again, and in the meanwhile, they've reblogged some posted art/fics over on their tumblr, shores-fanzine.tumblr.com  
> This is dedicated to my good friend Fandoms_are_my_lifestyle because she was a major help while I was writing this and supported it so much! She's one of my best friends in the entire world, and I'm glad she was so willing to give me advice on it. Leo, babe, I love you, and I swear I'll write that Garrett x Alex fic one day!  
> (this fic is also posted on my svthsa tumblr, simonvsbram.tumblr.com)


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